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Woke up to a wave of worry this AM: rent, payroll, etc. But as the day unfolded, the anxieties softened. By mid-afternoon, I was focused and exploring new opportunities.

This morning I laid still in bed, with my eyes staring off at the fan spinning above. Katie felt there was something off with me and asked if there was anything on my mind. 

there was a lot on my mind, especially for it being 6:30am and my eyes were only open for 10 or so minutes. Rent, payroll, loan payments, equipment repairs. This wave of worry must have woken me up and kept me still and it was hard to shake. 

yes, those expenses are real and ones we’re getting accustomed to at our new spot. It’ll take time for it to normalize. But for now, it’s a lot more than I’m used to. 

we got up, made breakfast, enjoyed the early morning with our son and biked into work. They kissed me goodbye and the work day began. The wave softened, and gave me space to dig in to the work at hand and mentally explore some new opportunities on the horizon. 

by the mid afternoon I was in the zone. We began tempering 250kg of chocolate into bars and I was (finally) able to start writing out procedures for our equipment. The energy from work carried me home with a certain lightness I was not feeling this morning. And I still feel it now. In fact, thinking about how I felt this morning feels so very distant and it amazes me how each day brings new waves of emotion along for the ride. 

just gotta ride it out. 

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